Life

Living Alone :: Living Lonely

When I moved out of my mom’s house for the first time, it was into an adorable one bedroom apartment in a very nice neighborhood of apartment buildings and duplexes mainly belonging to older people looking to downsize, and younger post-college twenty-somethings like myself. I moved in almost exactly two years ago with just a bed, a dresser and a kitchen table, and this week I am moving out having accumulated much more, both in experiences, cats, and furniture. I made the purposeful choice to gain some roommates in the move, and here’s why:

I was constantly trying to find excuses to go sit on a friend’s couch and watch Netflix instead of watching the same series in the comfort of my own home. Living alone is lonely.

My apartment was a horrifying disaster pit of disorganization 99% of the time, with the exception being when someone I really wanted to impress (read: my mom or a guy I was just starting to date) was expected to stop over within the hour. There was no one but me to see it or be affected by it or judge me for it, so my Tupperware grew mold, my bedroom floor became my closet, and my kitchen counters were hidden under a layer of dishes. All the chores I hated were my responsibility and therefore just usually didn’t get done on a timely basis.

Everything was my responsibility. If I paid my rent late one month, it was me alone getting the nasty call from my landlord. If I needed groceries I couldn’t just give someone $20 to go buy some eggs and bread while they were out. If I was short on cash, I couldn’t just walk into the next room and ask to borrow some gas money to get me to payday. When my car broke down there was no one to give me a ride or check under the hood to diagnose problems with something I didn’t even know existed. It was a lot of adulting.

Have you ever gotten home from work and just wanted to vent about your shitty day? Needed a quick opinion on if an outfit matched or if food tasted expired or if a text/email sounded acceptable? Can’t do that if you live alone.

Being an adult is expensive, and it’s even more expensive alone. All the rent, insurance, internet, electric, cable, water, heat, grocery and other bills are all yours. I know for me personally it got to the point where my take home pay and the amount I knew I would have in bills each month were almost exactly equal, and I have a pretty decent job. In the name of going out with friends every so often, making unavoidable purchases that were not already accounted for, buying birthday presents for close friends/family, etc. there were more than a few months where some bills just didn’t get paid. That can be an uncomfortable and stressful way to live paycheck to paycheck, and it accounts for more than half the reason that I chose to move in with friends.

Although I lived in a nice neighborhood, there are still times when being a not very intimidating, twenty-something woman living alone feels sketchy as heck. I was growing sick of those times.

There were a lot of things that were nice about living alone; the privacy, the freedom and the lack of potential roommate drama all made me really hesitant to change my living situation. I know plenty of people who think I’m crazy for choosing to go from living alone to living with other people. But ultimately I made the plunge, and once the honeymoon phase of living with some of my closest friends is over, I’ll let you know my thoughts.

Do you have roommates, or live alone? Which do you prefer and why?

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